Where are you and I’m so sorry.
I cannot sleep, I cannot dream tonight.
I need somebody, and always
this sick strange darkness
comes creeping on so haunting every time,
and as I stared, I counted
webs from all the spiders
catching things and eating their insides.
like indecision to call you
and hear your voice of treason.
will you come home and stop this pain tonight
stop this pain tonight.
Don’t waste your time on me you’re already
the voice inside my head

The second day of my vocational training was very chaotic. Reported to Tanjung Gul camp at 7.45 and was told to cut my hair cos it was considered long. Damn that Encik…. I just cut it and he consider it long? Ended up paying 5 bucks to have my hair cut at the camp barber. The aunty ruined my hairstyle. It looks horrible now. Was so busy that day and yet I still have to spend almost an hour waiting for my turn to cut my hair. So many people were looking for me so that I can draw out the training equipment. I hate to have to sign out for all the training equipment. Spend almost half hour just signing all the documents. Must have been more than 50 pages of documents I had to sign. Spent the next few hours accounting for all the equipment that I had to sign out for. What a mess…

Only finished everything after lunch and that was when I started my training. It was such a hot day. We were supposed to have night training as well but luckily, a thunder storm came by and all training was halted so we ended the training for that day. Started to pack up, have dinner and soon I was on my way home. Was just about to step out of the camp when I was stopped by my officer who told me that I had to choose 2 guys to provide medical cover for the following day’s IPPT. They had to be ready with all the medical equipment and an ambulance by 7.30am. Man… what a bummer. All of us are only reporting at 8.30 so the 2 guys who were going to be chosen will have to come in 1.5 hours. This is really 1 thing I hate to do. Getting people to do duty. I feel bad always asking other people to do things even though its my responsibility as a Senior Medic. In the end, I chose Azel and voluntered myself.

Stopped by at Jurong Point on the way home and went tidbits shopping with Azel. Since we are gonna be in camp for the next 1 week, might as well make it fun for us. We bought bout 25 dollars worth of tidbits. Heheheeh that would last us for that 1 week .

Today, I reported for my first day of my vocational training at SMM ( School of Military Medicine ). The camp is all the way at Yishun. Met with a few of my colleagues at Yishun MRT station and took a cab there.

The morning half of the training was the Intravenous Infusion (IV) practice. This is the practice of poking a very huge needle ( imagine the one used for blood donation or dialysis ) into your vein, and then connecting a Hartman Solution ( a special fluid to temporarily replace blood loss ) and letting it flow into your vein. OUCH!!! It hurts so much. I can imagine how those dialysis patients feel having it poked into their veins everyday. My buddy was Zharin and I let him practice on me first. I hurts so much when the needle pierced my vein I was almost in tears. I can feel the warm blood flowing onto my hands when he started to connect the solution. He was not very confident and I was glad he had a successful practice. The smell of fresh blood was so strong… It was soon my turn to practice. I was quite confident but also nervous. ( Can’t afford to be unsuccessful cos it’ll only make me look bad ) It was quite fast actually. I poked the needle into the veins, see some blood flow out, poke my needle deeper, and soon everything was finished. Not much blood loss like last year, when I could not stop the blood from flowing. Pressing on the wrong vein I think.

Went for lunch after that and in the afternoon, had my CPR refresher course. Same thing again as last year but this time, no need for any practical test since I already have a valid CPR certificate which last for 3 years. We were released from our training at bout 5.40. Went to Informatics to collect some vertificate with Azel, then went to town for dinner. Reached home only at bout 9.30. By then, my arm was a bit bruised and was hurting. Zharin must have poked the needle too deep in. Same as last year. LOL..

Tomorrow, our training will be at Tanjung Gul camp. Will be a very chaotic and mentally stressful day for me. So many things to settle…

Went out with Omkar to have my IC replaced today and also to check on the status of my passport application. My photo which I printed myself was rejected and I ended up paying $5 for 4 instant passport size photo. The guys who were taking the photo was using Adobe Photoshop, the same software I was using to tweak my photos. Hmmmm wasted $5 for the photos which I could have done it myself.

Went to Sim Lim after that. Was looking around for the price of the new Sony P100 camera. I asked a few shops who quoted anywhere from $670-$730 exclusive of GST. I assumed that all the other shops I didn’t bother to ask would quote similar prices so I started to head out of Sim Lim. At the exit, there was 1 last shop which I thought I would just ask for the price. To my surprise, he quoted $600 exclusive of GST. I though to myself, WOW!!!! Good price. There must be some catch to it but apparently there was none and the complete set was provided. I told the shop owner I would thing about it and started to walk away. After a few steps, he shouted back saying that he can give the camera to me at $600 net if I paid in cash or NETS. Wah!!!! That is really a good price. Most probably will be going back there to buy the camera next month.

And also, on my way to replace my IC, Syerida called me up. I was so happy to hear her voice. I have stopped calling her bout 2 weeks ago. Everytime I called her up, I’ll just end up feeling sad and hurt. Imagine how difficult it is to control myself not to call her when I really miss her… Sigh… I was so happy to hear her voive again but that soon turned to diappointment. I thought that she would call to ask how I was etc… but its only because her computer broke down. I guess if her computer is working fine, she won’t even call me. Sigh…. I miss her so much…. Guess all I am to her now is nothing more but a computer repair guy…

Tomorrow will be the start of my ICT. The first 4 days will consist of my vocational training as a Senior Medic. I hope I can perform this duty well enough. Tomorrow will also be the day my hand gets another puncture. I hate getting IV ( intravenous infusion ) inserted into me. It really hurts and can get very very bloody… I love doing it to others though Hopefully, I can take some pictures which will soon be uploaded into my picture gallery.

Just got back from visiting my relatives at Tampinese. My grand aunt just passed away at bout 9pm and so my parents and I were there to offer our condolences. It was a very depressing atmosphere.

I always remembered her as someone who would always tell me to study hard so that I would get into a university. Someone who would always tease me when I was young, saying that I was a Chinese kid to which I would always reply that I’m not.

Her death came as a sudden and I did not expect it. Shes only 71 but her time has now come for her to return back to God’s side.